All Power Lies Within


Only a few years ago, I could consciously understand, we all have

tremendous power within us.

People in different times gave this power mystical names and the

most prominently called it a soul or spirit, which is life energy and a fraction

of the same singular energy found everywhere in the universe.

Some thinkers name this singular energy God to personify it so

man can emotionally connect with it.

In all religious practices, there are prayers to express gratitude and wish

well-being for all.

Because we are all interconnected by being created by the same energy, that is why religions say to think and do good to others to get back the same.

There is single energy in the whole universe that has the power to transform into various forms of matter — living and non-living.

4 Abilities Can Make You An Outstanding Public Speaker


Since my childhood, I heard people saying, ‘Oratory is an art.’ I have ever been fond of impressive speeches. I used to imagine myself delivering speeches among the tremendous applause of the audience. But whenever I got an opportunity to speak before a group of people. My heart began to beat desperately. At such a time, my nervousness left me with no option except to invent an excuse for not speaking. After seeing my name deleted from the list of speakers, I could make peace with myself. This kind of fear of public speaking is known as glossophobia in psychology. Merriam Webster dictionary defines, “In anticipation of speaking in public, a person with glossophobia can experience a dry mouth, weak voice and uncontrollable body shaking.”

Furthermore, my situations in life led me to the teaching profession, where speaking skill is an integral component. Due to fear of being considered a stupid teacher, I began to prepare the lessons to be taught thoroughly with additional relevant references, even thinking about the students’ curious questions connected with the topic that the students might ask. I used to cover all these in my explanation. By doing so as a routine within a year, I launched my career as an excellent teacher commanding utmost respect and appreciation.

But still, I could not overcome stage-fear and mike-fear in school functions and always feared losing my image thinking if I could not speak as a scholar even though I used to prepare students for the speeches and debates. And some of my students became national-level debaters. I continued escaping from public lectures. I went through some public speaking experts’ books and practically applied some of their techniques, but none helped me. Sometimes, I learnt my speech word by word and delivered it in a non-stop reading tone, further embarrassing.

Once I narrated a short story in the morning assembly, I was amazed to notice no sign of nervousness. My morale was further boosted, finding many students being able to recall the story. Afterwards, I always begin my speech by quoting some relevant story to suit the audience and occasion. Almost every day, I delivered speeches as the Principal and conducted scores of Teachers’ and Parents’ Workshops.

I, as a result of this, suggest four personally tested abilities that can undoubtedly help you to become a confident public speaker:

1 — Ability to narrate a contextual short story

Stories create a set of things for you as a speaker, and they support you to attract attention and get closeness with your audience. In addition, stories ease you overcome nervousness rapidly.

Confirmation from psychology and literary theory implies that audiences better experience and retain fictional writing than explanatory writing. New evidence from neuroscience has unveiled a specific area in the brain aroused by stories.

Fictional writing conveys a story through associated situations, whereas explanatory writing describes facts without much social connection. Offering the same information in a more narrative style has the potential to expand its association. Usually, fictional writing is accepted as a powerful medium of communication.

I spend a lot of time preparing to get really good at using stories in presentations. I have noticed when I get into a story. Dramatically I reduce my nervousness. As a result, I appear more positive and more convinced. In addition, it is easier to seem interested when you are narrating a good story. So, this skill never fails to help you become an excellent public speaker!

Audiences come for knowledge, but they wait for the stories. Described clearly, stories can be the opener to a compelling performance that inspires, invigorates, and absolutely involves the people sitting in front of you. Others may not imagine what we hold, but they can feel what we feel through a given story.

So, consider giving a story of conflict or success or your own track — preferably at the beginning of your address. You need not hesitate to share information about yourself and express your threats. You can tell any meaningful story with a strong message suitable to the occasion.

One of the best ways to genuinely captivate your audience is by becoming a good storyteller.

By using a connection in your address for your audience to relate to, you build an easy listen to the mood in which you are not only pushing information at them. But expecting that listeners will remember that information.

The best speech doesn’t appear like speech; they are simply stories people tell with appealing experiences.

A story is what actually holds in a listener’s memory.

2 — Ability to converse in the speeches

A speech is like a conversation, which means you require to convey your message to someone else. Due to this reason, there is no differentiation in addressing one person or a five hundred.

Your success as a speaker lies in your ability to have the utmost attention of your listeners. During your speech, people are likely on their cell phones, tablets, or seeing emails, browsing the web, finding out who you are, or perhaps taking notes on your speech. It’s your responsibility to make them put their gadgets down and notice what you have to say.

You can’t direct them to switch off their phones, but you can make them put their phones down by generating an ambience that inspires and interests the listeners.

You have to be yourself on stage. Sometimes, no matter how much you trust in your message or how well you’ve practised, your audience may observe your speech as hypocritical or anticipated if you don’t behave like yourself in front of the gathering.

If a political aspirant doesn’t look genuine, they’ll possibly have the slightest chance to win an election. If a company’s social marketing tactics seem unreal, it will not progress. Speaking is the same way. You have to look trustworthy. Any link you’ve made with your audience and your false expression may damage your impression. Usually, you should present in a conversational tone.

3 — Ability to rehearse and repeat and repeat

The more you practice a speech, the more natural it will really appear!

Of course, you have to prepare it the best way. Whenever you practice, assume that you are addressing a gathering of people. Never repeat quietly to cram. Repetition will make you feel more confident and resemble more genuine, forming a better chance to relate with your audience. And it is the final purpose of public speaking.

Practice can further ensure your audience catches the main points away from your speech. It increases accuracy and serves to support the recognition of an opinion.

To apply repetition in your speech, decide what you require your audience to take away from your address. Speak it. Say again. And then tell it a third time just in case anyone missed it the first two times.

To ‘be yourself in a speech, you shouldn’t learn your presentation word by word. Practice your address as frequently as desired, but be ready to change up the wording. This makes it more comfortable to turn it up during the performance if matters aren’t going as framed.

4 — Ability to feel the audience and the occasion

Public speaking is as much about knowing your audience as it is about your communication skills. Excellent public speaker analyse the people they address and changes the content, and plan as needed. Whether talking to a small gathering or centred on selective heads within your business, recognize the people and how they treat and respond to the message. If it’s a larger group, give attention to the general mindset, and change your form accordingly. After all, an interested audience is a happy audience.

Most speakers start their speech, first of all highlighting what they understand about the topic. They speak about themselves versus thinking about what the audience truly desires from the lecture. Some speakers can commit this mistake.

“Exceptional public speaking is never about the speaker. Yet, it’s easy to see yourself as the star of the presentation… When you make the audience the star of your presentation, your range rises, your impact increases, and your bottom-line blossoms.”

It is correct if I am sitting in the audience; I never like the speaker to consume much time speaking about things that are only pleasing to them. I have my own difficulties, and I will accept if you help solve one of those difficulties. I assume that you hold the same approach, and your audiences also hold the same.

Get some information about the audience that you’re going to speak to. Find out the profile of your audience. The details will help you better connect to them and explain how you feel they would react to and acquire from the best.

The Takeaway

With these abilities as a public speaker, you can plan a speech, and think about what you would counter. To prove yourself a compelling speaker, you have to move out of the box to connect, link, and be involved with your audience. Check your story your audience will desire to listen and retain it long after the speech is over.

Here a bamboo story goes:

A bamboo tree is watered and fertilized in the ground every day for five years where it is planted, but there is no sign of growth. After five years, anytime, it breaks through the soil and grows ninety feet tall in five weeks! How much time a bamboo tree takes to grow up? Five years or five weeks!

Decide yourself what portion of this article you easily remember.

“A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.” ― Winston S. Churchill.

Hitler used to consume two pounds of chocolate every day


Adolf Hitler may be the most well-known and widely discussed historical character of the twentieth century. He was the leader of Nazi Germany prior to and during World War II. And his aggressive, genocidal policies resulted in the deaths of tens of millions of people. They have engraved him into history books amongst the most hated humans to have ever survived.

And even though, as notorious as Hitler remains today. How many Adolf Hitler facts do most of us know that reveal the actual person behind the cruel dictator?

His life, which began on April 20, 1889, in Braunau am Inn, Austria-Hungary, was defined by conflict and strife from the start. He was constantly in conflict with his strict father as a child. His father did not appreciate his son’s discourteous behaviour in school or his interest in fine arts.

Soon after his father’s untimely death in 1903, Hitler dropped out of school. He began spending his wealth while studying fine art in Vienna and twice failed to gain admission to the city’s Academy of Fine Arts.

Hitler expressed the German nationalism and anti-Semitism that would define his tradition from this time. These feelings only grew stronger during and after his military service in World War I.

By 1921, Hitler had attracted attention because of his speeches. He had become the chairperson of what was now known as the Nazi Party. But the Beer Hall Putsch cut his reign short of a failed coup attempt in 1923 that landed him in jail for a year.

While imprisoned, Hitler wrote Mein Kampf, the political manifesto that largely defines his views to this day.

The book sold five million copies over the next decade, bringing Hitler’s revolutionary ideas to the common people and helping to raise him to power. Following Hitler’s release from prison, millions of Germans responded to the kinds of ideas put forth in Mein Kampf. And the Nazis were soon winning national elections.

They eventually gained a majority in Parliament. To support Hitler, a few key politicians advised President Paul von Hindenburg that appointing Hitler as Chancellor in 1933 would be a wise decision.

The Nazi Party was stronger than ever when Hindenburg died the following year. And Hitler could declare himself the Führer of Germany. After becoming Nazi Germany’s leader, he spearheaded both the Second World War and the Genocide. Events that cost the lives of at least 40 million people.

From his transformation to dictatorship to his suicide alongside his new wife Eva Braun near the end of the war in 1945, Hitler’s actions would all but severely damage Europe in his pursuit of capture in neighbouring countries. While the Genocide saw the mass slaughter of Jews, homosexuals, Romani, Poles, the disabled, and anyone else who didn’t fit into Hitler’s perverted view of a master Aryan race.

He was the subject of many books and articles over the next several decades.

Several mysterious, paradoxical, and frequently unconfirmed gossip have been publicised about Hitler, both during his life and after his death. After all, these are mostly nothing more than misinformation invented by his enemies to defame him as a dangerous psycho.

His alleged lack of some sexual organs is a common misperception among mythologists; this is believed to be because of insulting wartime songs of Allied troops instead of any actual proof.

You can find here a few of the more believable, yet equally mesmerizing, facts about the difficult and complicated, brutal dictator.

1. Hitler ran away to avoid his recruitment in the military prior to the start of World War I.

In May 1913, the upcoming tyrant escaped Vienna for Munich, apparently to avert military service.

They prosecuted him in January of the succeeding year. And he met a fine and a year in captivity if convicted of the crime of attempting to avoid recruitment.

2. The Man of the Year

Hitler was named Time Magazine’s ‘Man of the Year 1938’ on January 2, 1939.

Time noted that “Hitler became in 1938 the greatest threatening force that the democratic, freedom-loving world faces today.”

“The man most responsible for this global tragedy is a moody, brooding, Austrian-born ascetic with a Chaplin moustache,” the article continues. Time magazine titled “Hitler Man of the Year,” less than a year before he brought the country to war.

On September 29, 1938, Hitler, Chamberlain, French Prime Minister Édouard Daladier, and Mussolini met in Munich for a one-day conference.

In the ‘Munich Agreement,’ British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain pacified Hitler by persuading British and French politicians to accept some of Hitler’s border disputes for commitments of no further conflict from Germany.

The agreement approved Germany, the German-speaking Sudetenland region of Czechoslovakia, which was considered at the time as a successful preventive measure against the uprising of a world war. In fact, because of the Munich summit, Time magazine named Hitler ‘Man of the Year’ in 1938.

3. Hitler the Jokester

Hitler was said to be a prolific funny guy, frequently making fun of his ministers and generals.

This would turn out badly when a prank on Hanfstaengl (who thought he was being set up for a secret mission while flying to Spain on a plane full of Gestapo men) allowed him to flee to Switzerland.

He’d then flee to the Allies, disclosing critical information about his former friend and leader.

4. Hitler used to consume two pounds of chocolate every day

Hitler had an insatiable sweet tooth, consuming up to two pounds of chocolate per day and even sweetening red wine before drinking it.

5. Hitler was a superstitious dictator

The superstitious beliefs of terrific despots frequently arouse people’s interest.

According to a secret profile compiled by the OSS in 1942, Hitler would never remove his coat in public, no matter how hot it was.

It is unclear whether this was because of a specific superstition or his larger mission to maintain his ordered, authoritative presence.

6. The vegetarian dictator

The Nazis were known for promoting health-conscious practices in their efforts to create a master “Aryan” race.

It’s not surprising that Hitler was a teetotaler, nonsmoker, and vegetarian.

His healthy habits, however, were harmed by his alleged use of opiates.

According to new research, his personal doctor, Theodor Morell, began injecting him with drugs such as oxycodone, methamphetamine, morphine, and even cocaine in 1941.

In fact, drug use was reportedly widespread throughout the Nazi Party, and they frequently gave soldiers meth before the battle.

Vegetarianism is not closely linked with a character responsible for such horrific massacring on a quite huge scale.

Hitler’s diet preferences were not driven by ethical judgements.

Hitler reportedly became a vegetarian after witnessing the postmortem of his former girlfriend and niece, Geli. She mysteriously said to have committed suicide by gunning down herself.

7. Hitler had an army of talking dogs.

As per Dr Jan Bondeson, Hitler and his accomplices gathered “trained” dogs with whom they communicated by tapping paws, barking, and wagging their tails, and even got one to bark, “Mein Fuhrer!”

These dogs should help Hitler win the war, which partially explains Hitler’s attachment to his dogs, Blondi and Bella. He killed Bella before killing himself.

8. He adored Disney.

Since we associate Disney with children’s films and family, to Hitler, it represents technological progress, since “Snow White” featured some fairly spectacular visuals. When it was launched in 1937.

Thus, according to myth, he was a big fan of “King Kong” because of the special effects.

9. He was a disappointed artist.

It’s exciting to imagine how unique the twentieth century might have been if Hitler’s adolescent ambitions of becoming a painter had come true.

They rejected him for admission to the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna twice at 18 and 19 years because, even though he had some natural ability for architectural draughtsmanship, his images lacked detail and character.

The Nazis as well gained notable and priceless works of art, frequently in the name of ‘kunstschutz’–art protection.

10. Hitler lived in a homeless shelter.

Hitler’s inability to succeed as an artist had serious financial effects. After getting utterly failed in selling his paintings, postcards, and advertisements, his financial resources were so drained that he spent a whole month at twenty in a homeless shelter in Vienna.

He afterwards lived in a public men’s dormitory till the age of 24, just before he gained his father’s family wealth and moved to Munich in 1913.

11. Whistling ‘When You Wish Upon A Star was one of Hitler’s hobbies:

Hitler supposedly felt relieved by whistling songs such as “When you wish upon a star.”

He amused dinner guests by whistling and indulged in the hobby during times of jubilation, such as after the defeat of Paris in June 1940.

Even though ‘The Wolf’ was his nickname, he also liked ‘Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf.’

Hitler became absent-minded and obsessed as the Germans withdrew from Russia. He used to whistle even while eating back then.

12. Hitler thought of becoming a priest as a child:

Hitler was born to a devout Catholic mother and an anti-clerical father. He began singing in church choirs and taking singing lessons when he was eight years old. He even wanted to be a priest.

Afterwards he arose to promote some aspects of Protestantism. In a report from the United States Strategic Services, Hitler designed to eliminate the influence of Christian churches in German-held territories. His desire to eradicate Christianity reveals he has become a staunch atheist.

13. Hitler Enacted Animal Cruelty Laws

It is really bewildering that, despite ordering countless barbaric acts against humans during his lifetime, he hated animal cruelty. He ate only vegetarian food.

At social gatherings, he would sometimes describe visual accounts of animal slaughtering with an intention to dissuade his dinner guests from eating meat.

Throughout the war, a well-equipped greenhouse was built near his home in Obersalzberg, Bavaria. So that he should get a continuous supply of fresh vegetables and fruits.

He assisted in the enforcement of legislation protecting wild animals, cattle, and chickens, with the target of decreasing meat consumption among Germans.

14. In 1939, they nominated Hitler for the Nobel Peace Prize:

Hitler and Stalin both known for their questionable persona

were nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, the highest honor given on those who work for world peace.

They nominated Stalin for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1945 and 1948 for his role in bringing the Second World War to an end.

Hitler’s nomination was ironic and humorous.

In 1939, EGC Brandt, a member of the Swedish parliament, nominated Adolf Hitler for the Nobel Peace Prize.

His purpose was to satirize the Swedish government, but it did not work out that way, and they forced him to cancel his nomination.

In retaliation, Hitler forbade Germans from accepting Nobel Prizes after the nomination was withdrawn.

15. Hitler cut a portion of his moustache after his full moustache ended up almost killing him.

Hitler’s toothbrush moustache was not always this way. He had a full moustache during WWI.

During WWI, soldiers in trenches were subjected to mustard gas and other poisonous gas attacks, and they gave breathing masks to soldiers to keep the gas out.

However, during gas attacks, Hitler could not create complete airlocks by pulling his breathing mask over his face because of his long moustache, and he nearly died because of the presence of gas in his mask. Hitler’s superiors ordered him to shave his trademark moustache in order to facilitate the use of gas masks. Instead, he trimmed it into a distinct toothbrush shape.


Today’s Democracy Is To Encourage Freedom Of Speech A priority or a conspiracy?


Social Media

Freedom of Speech

Photo by Creative Christians on Unsplash

I am talking about countries where foreign rule has lasted for centuries.

There, the instinct of self-expression was so suppressed that people’s DNA coding changed.

Their craving for freedom became too intense to stop pent-up feelings. They persevered for freedom.


After attaining freedom, political professionals studied public DNA and

understood free speech would be a preferential activity for people.

Allow the people

to speak;


will not




and injustice.

Today, contractors of democracy focus on grooming social media for free expression. There, everyone is free to ventilate and vomit all the poison being nurtured concurrently.

Even hungry stomachs and thirsty minds smilingly post a beautiful

the picture on Instagram.

They tweet their rage on Twitter without a hitch.

People are busy watching viral videos and Twitter trending, hardly having time for political treachery.

How Money Connects Humans

It is strange that love was once a permanent adhesive to bind relationships.

But, shyly, we have accepted the day’s truth.

The closest relationships, like parents, kids, siblings, and spouses, are now under the command of omnipotent money.

Money can rejuvenate the blood cells of blood relationships as love cells get exhausted and perish.

If you fulfill your kids’ desires, they dutifully obey your commands.

But if you are just making ends meet, they take you indifferently.

Despite the rivers of love flowing within, you have no money to buy mineral water and take your family on a memorable trip.

Look inside you to only find money, not love.

Look around anywhere

in society

at people with money

saying anything and

others listening to

their nonsense,

like sermons.

Look at the moneyless in the neighbourhood, waiting to be listened to.

Boosting Children’s 7 Executive Functions to solve the problems of Bullying and Aggressiveness

Photo by Andrew Ebrahim on Unsplash

All kinds of success and well being in life has ever been a primary concern while grooming a child to manhood.

The most sought after qualities that we like to find in youth such as leadership, decision making, problem-solving, achieving goals, adaptability, emotional awareness and self-regulation.

Skills or functions that are essentially required for mental and physical health; achieving knowledge and experience; social, and psychological development are called Executive Functions.

These are particularly involved in performing tasks, planning and achieving a goal, and are also known as the CEO of the brain.

Executive Functions can be improved at any stage of life.

The models of executive functions such as thought flexibility, self-regulation, planning and problem-solving are important ingredients of success in life. Executive Functions enable us to adapt quickly to changed circumstances, play with imaginary ideas, plan and organize our actions, control emotions, face unforeseen challenges, and stay focused.

It’s extremely crucial to help young children have good executive functions because these functions early in life have been found to predict lifelong achievement, health, wealth, and quality of life.

Boosting these functions problems of bullying and rapidly increasing cases of aggressive behaviour among secondary school students may be curbed effectively.

There are three core executive functions- inhibition, working memory and cognitive flexibility. Higher-order executive functions are developed from these such as reasoning, problem-solving, and planning.

The earliest executive functions to appear like working memory and inhibitory control that develops reasoning and problem solving are initially observed in infants 7 to 12 months old.

Then in the preschool years, children display a spurt in performance on tasks of inhibition and working memory, usually between the ages of 3 to 5 years.

During this time, cognitive flexibility, goal-directed behaviour, and planning begin to develop.

In preadolescence, children display major increases in verbal working memory; goal-directed behaviour (with a potential spurt around 12 years of age); response inhibition and selective attention; and strategic planning and organizational skills.

In adolescence functions such as attention control, with a potential spurt at age 15, along with working memory, continues developing at this stage.

Here, we discuss seven specific practice models to boost Children’s Executive Functions. Practice tools for these skills for different age groups are easily available on various educational websites.

1. Thought flexibility

This is also known as a reversal or shifting. For example, in Task 1 – one might press left for peacock and right for tiger, while in Task 2 that would be reversed, so one would press right for the peacock and left for the tiger. Children only 2½ years of age can perform these tasks.

Thought flexibility also involves being flexible enough to adjust to changing demands or priorities, admit to being wrong, and take advantage of sudden, unexpected opportunities. Children are to be given alternative ways to do a particular task.

A creative way to shift a thought/viewpoint is through visualization. Take an object that can be visualized in different objects, e.g. handkerchief- fold it in a different way giving some different shapes every time to pretend a different object. Show to the children and ask them to identify.

Children are to be given enough practise to enable them to change their habitual actions. Make new rules to play their favourite games. After certain intervals- change the place of keeping their things and study place at home.

Sufficient practice of “homophones” is very helpful to make the children understand the same sound word has its other meaning too, e.g. peak-peek, feat-feet, principle-principal, loan-lone

2. Attention Control

There is a tendency to continue to focus attention on what had previously been relevant. Consequently, errors seem to occur due to difficulty in deactivating previous learning. For example, children of three years old can correctly sort out by either colour or shape, but fail to control previous

attention despite knowing the difference between shape and colour. Once a child of three has focused on colour, it is difficult for the child to change the mindset and focus on its shape.

3. Self Regulation

It is the aspect of inhibitory control that involves control over one’s behaviour and control over one’s emotions in the service of controlling one’s behaviour. Self-regulation is about resisting temptations and not acting impulsively. Another aspect of self-regulation is having the discipline to stay on task despite distractions and completing a task despite temptations to give up, to move on to more interesting work, or to have a good time instead.

4. Organizing Skill

Organization is the skill to set a task that one needs to do in time and manner. One must understand the requirements of a task to get them organized. When teens are disorganized, they can get overwhelmed by school. Multiple classes, deadlines, and projects in middle and high school can be tough to manage.

Learning organization strategies can help teens be more efficient. It can also be a confidence booster.

5. Working Memory

Working Memory functions by holding information in mind and mentally working with it. The two types of WM are distinguished by content—verbal WM and nonverbal WM. WM is critical for making sense of anything that unfolds over time, for that always requires holding in mind what happened earlier and relating that to what comes later.

6. Planning and Problem solving

Problem-solving framework works in different phases such as to (a) represent a problem, (b) plan for a solution by selecting and ordering strategies, (c) maintain the strategies in short-term memory in order to perform them by certain rules, and then (d) evaluate the results with error detection and error correction

7. Comparative Reasoning Power

Comparative reasoning is fundamental to human thought. Comparative or analogical reasoning plays an important role in a wide range of problem-solving.

Reasoning in adolescence is particularly important because this is the period when adolescents encounter their most complex learning opportunities at school.

Hail!Hail! The Season Of The Seasons! The Spring!

Image by the author

Hail!Hail! Spring comes in full bloom!

Flowers blossom, the butterfly comes nearer and nearer,

When very close murmurs something in the ear.

A rainbow seems to have come down

with shades and shades everywhere far and wide.

Earth erotica seems to have been bathed in an intoxicating fragrance.

Hail! Hail! The season of colours! The Spring!

There is this song on every tongue.

This season of Spring is so erotic, romantic, mystic, hedonistic, and so fantastic.

Let the heart touch the cool breeze of the horizon!

Let the dreamy eyes dazzle with reality!

Let the colour of the body shine in the luscious sun!

Let the passion of the mind dance in the delicious breath of wind!

Let the glory of the soul be glorified in the harmonious fragrance!

So everyone young and ripe, rational and emotional sing altogether.

Hail! Hail! The season of passion and poise! The Spring!

The birds in flight sing an ethereal melody.

The rays of the sunbathe the ground in laughter.

The season of Spring brings greenery in the glow, beauty in bounty, the aroma in the air, and feelings in philosophy.

The stars twinkle merrily in the night.

Milky light bathes the mustard crops under the starry roof.

The stimulating, sensuous fragrance of mustard flowers tickles romantic fantasy.

Hail! Hail! The season of seasons! The Spring!

The Habit Of Telling Lies: 7 Tips To Give It Up

Image by the author

The habit of telling lies has become an inseparable part of our life these days. There is no more frowning at lies. Lying is one of the well-known realities of social life. Most people seldom lie — about once or twice a day, as regularly as they brush their teeth. And some people lie frequently. People manage to lie more in phone calls than face to face. For some people, it’s comfortable to move from the impression that something could have happened to the belief that it did happen. You often meet with people who build the castles of lies, but if verified. They say to have made them of sand on the beaches.

Professor Bella DePaulo has found in her study that lies had become a part of everyday social life. While some lies ruin relations and end trust, others perform essential interpersonal roles, like easing over problematic situations or guarding delicate selfhood.

Most parents raise kids on sayings like “Never tell a lie,” unfortunately, the children observe their parents disobeying their own dictates. People who act with total fairness in every circumstance are everyone’s curiosity. Many of us lie to some level to escape irritating disputes in relations. People don’t want to hear the naked truth — ‘you’re gaining weight, ‘you look terrifying in your new suit’.

The stupid jokes or friendly lies we offer each other in passing, such as “I’m fine, thanks” or “No trouble at all.” An “official” lie cheats, freely sending a false impression. Even these expressions researchers do not include in the category of lying. Thus praising a friend’s terrible haircut or telling a banker that the check is in the mail both pass for a lie.

My experience with lying

I share with you my personal experience with lying. Once I was organizing a function in which I expected about a thousand people would participate. One of the organizing committee members assured me that he had already contacted a furniture supplier who would supply the requirement. On the day required supplies did not reach. We were worried and contacted the member. But he expressed his inability to have the task done. He was ashamed that he had lied and that he could not reach the supplier until then. After that, he contacted and found him already booked on the day.

Hurriedly I contacted the suppliers, but most of them found booked due to the festival season. Ultimately I got a supplier at another corner of the city who charged just double rent. But we had no option, and it was the result of lying.

Another drawback of living in the atmosphere of lying is that we suspect truth also. During vacation, I went to a famous tourist place with my family. We were coming out of a cafe; a man in his fifties approached us and begged for money to buy medicine for his seriously sick wife. We did not believe his theory and gave no money. The next day, I saw the same man’s picture in the morning post with a piece of brief news- a woman lost her life without medicine. I was feeling guilty.

While parenting kids, I told white lies very often. As a parent, do you use white lies to keep your child from knowing that a favourite toy was lost or a favourite piece of clothing was no longer suitable? Or to divert your son or daughter from something that was beyond your means? “No one goes to Paris these days, and it’s just too congested! Let’s have our fun down in our beautiful city!” Most people regard it socially acceptable and culturally correct for parents to use white lies with their kids.

Since childhood, we begin to experience the difference between “acceptable” lies and “forbidden” lies when most are young. When we lie about having stolen something from a friend or a store or about our grades or behaviour, we learn to use white lies to protect ourselves from punishment. We tell a boss that we have a fever and take a sick day when we want to hang out at home. The lessons we learn about the limits between truth and outcomes at a young age are ready to stay with us for a lifetime.

Quite strangely, we deal with lying in society. Suppose you’re lying to spare others harm or pain. In that case, that’s considered prosocial lying and acceptable. But if you’re lying to keep yourself out of difficulty, that’s antisocial lying and forbidden.

The critical role of family, parents, and society in cultivating a habit of lying

Many a time, you see a situation when the truth is not told for some social benefit. In a study examining children’s moral development, Talwar found that parents do not talk about the value of shielding other people’s feelings. They are possible to support children with a rough attitude towards others.

The researchers established that prosocial lying is most likely due to the fear of causing emotional harm with adverse feedback. Thus it seems that compassion and lying have a strong link. This sort of prosocial lying typically befalls to avoid unpleasant situations or spare the feelings of whoever is hearing the lie. Such lies are usually harmless and a necessary part of many social interactions. But is this kind of prosocial lying really harmless? And what moves us to be dishonest with people? A new research study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology — General, explores these questions in detail.

People lie for different reasons. Sometimes they do it to conspire, control, or get a benefit. Other times the so-called white lies are intended to save another’s feelings. It’s pleasing to make others feel good, but not at the loss of one’s honesty.

The following tips can definitely help you to give up the habit of lying:

1. Be yourself, not an imposter

Sometimes people lie because they think their true feelings about something will lead to rejection. The dilemma is that by hiding what you really think or feel, you’re not giving people the opportunity to know the “real you.”

What happens is that you then feel the need to maintain a facade to maintain those relationships. By being honest, you’ll be able to be who you truly are without feeling the need to hide. Because self-disclosure is an integral part of close relationships, imposter makes it tougher to develop meaningful relationships with other people.

You can only be sincere when you are perfectly natural with your feelings and experiences. When you lie about the past or present, it makes it challenging to be open with others.

One meaningful way to quit lying is to recognize the conditions that might move you to lie and invent alternative ways to deal with it. So what are some replacements that you can apply in place of lying?

2. Lying makes you stressful

Telling a lie might instantly answer a problem, but keeping a lie is stressful and leads to long-lasting problems. Even small lies can swell and become more widespread than you thought. It is easy to neglect how much it takes to have the habit of lying when the effects are momentarily convincing.

Some experts even hint that telling lies can cause critical damage to your health and well-being. People who reduced their lying got subsequent developments in their health. In comparison, more research is required to know the relationship between lying and stress. But one thing is apparent. The less you lie, the more relaxed you feel.

3. How do you feel when cheated.

Reflect on impartially how lying is affecting your life and others. Suppose you are telling lies for your profit or influencing others. In that case, you will probably feel a fall off in the quality of your intimate relations. Sometimes when you rightly understand the wrong that lying can do, you’ll scarcely trust it in the future.

Lying may not cause bodily hurt, but when it serves to deal with other people’s behaviour. It affects their free mind and their power to make decisions based on truth. Suppose you have caught someone in a lie. In that case, you’ll guard yourself against further deception by no longer putting your trust in them. Remember, the only way to gain your faith is to rise to be true and remain to be honest until you trust their word again. The same applies to everyone else.

4. Don’t create false impressions to please others

Suppose neighbours, colleagues, or family members ask inquiring questions about your personal life. In that case, you might feel prompted to lie and get them off your back. At the same time, you must not forget, that you aren’t required to give everyone an open passage in your life.

You don’t have to lie not to share details you’d preferably keep secret. Instead, try a gentle refusal, such as, “I don’t think it proper to discuss.” Once you take a bold decision, they will not ask you and respect your decision the second time. Moreover, they will feel safe in your company to share their personal life without fear of disclosing them to others, and you will win their trust.

The more you delay in revealing the truth, the worse the situation becomes. Say you want to break up with an accidental companion, but you’re finding it challenging to begin the chat. Instead, you give reasons like, “I’m going out of town for work this week,” or “I’m busy in an official meeting” whenever they try to make a date.

From your viewpoint, this is a more sensitive way of declaring you don’t want to see them. In truth, you’re just holding the breakup process. They might slip to understand your hints, stay engaged, and have a more challenging time when you move to the point of breaking up.

Consequently, your intention to hurt them less could end up causing them more pain.

5. Analyze the reason to tell a lie

If you lie because you think the truth will upset someone or cause harm, ask yourself what the most unfavourable outcome would be if you decide to tell the truth. Perhaps, it’s not as severe as you imagine. Maybe you exaggerate your achievements at work because you believe you’re less successful than your friends. Or, perhaps you don’t tell your spouse about your meeting with an ex because, even though you have no intention of lying, you bother about what they think.

People usually catch the habit of lying from a very early age. Perhaps you acquired as a child that you could make your way more frequently if you lied. You resumed the practice as a teen and dealt with the difficult situations we all encounter in life. Understanding the origin of your lying is the first move to creating a difference.

Ask questions__Do you lie about it as a way to get command over situations? Do you lie to enhance your self-image? Maybe you lie as a way to encourage yourself. Telling the truth is often very difficult due to fear of being undervalued, underestimated and disrespected. Lying to others, and sometimes to yourself, stops you from facing uncomfortable situations and feelings. You become less confident after telling a lie every time. And your problem under cover of lies remains hidden and becomes more terrible.

6. Don’t cover the truth with false coating

The most preferred tact to avoid lying is not to say anything when you cannot speak the truth. If you can’t be truthful at the time, it’s safer to stay silent or change the topic. You are free not to answer particular questions or disclose information you don’t feel like reporting. It might make things a little uncomfortable, but it’s still better than telling a lie.

Avoid situations that make you feel you have to say something untrue. Significant group conversations in which everyone boasts about successes can excite you to keep up by lying.

7. Ugliest truth ends in trust and happiness, but the sweetest of lies in misery

It is possible that telling the truth will put you in a type of situation you’ve always avoided by telling lies. You’ll have to confess when you didn’t obey the rules, acknowledge that you are jobless, or admit that you couldn’t answer all the questions. You will find it better to face the uncomfortable consequences of telling the truth than lying; because it strengthens your character and creates faith in other people.

Prepare to deal with other people’s reactions. Maybe hearing the truth lets someone make an adverse remark or respond you may not find pleasing. But definitely, it will make you happy for telling the truth rather than using the shortcut of lying.

It would be best to win the confidence of people who may not believe you at first. If somebody has caught you lying a lot to a particular person, it may take a while before they think you are telling the truth. Keep working at it since the only way in the world to gain back trust is to keep being honest.

The Takeaway

The habit of lying is wholly merged with our character. Hardly anyone of us remembers when we learned about the idea of the white lie. It might have been when we were a child or a grown that hid the truth to keep ourselves from being upset or sad. Or someone might have promised you a reward for a particular behaviour, but the “reward” really didn’t exist. Being a parent, you might have used white lies to calm down your crying child. Or you might have scared your child by creating a false fear of not obeying.

There are two determinants concerned when deciding whether or not to use a white lie to hide the truth: The means, the purpose of the lie and the possible result if someone catches it. Balance these determinants carefully before your chance to tell a lie, no concern how “harmless” it may look. If the gains to yourself exceed the losses to the other, you must not tell a lie.

It is pretty common these days to engage in prosocial lying. It also puts questions about how far we are likely to go with this kind of deception. Are we more prone to lie to friends or strangers? Actually, what if our lying is maybe more damaging than the truth in the end?

While more inquiries on prosocial lying are required, compassion visibly plays a significant role in everyday social lying. Whether or not honesty is the best policy, most of us assume the necessity for “little white lies” to avoid harming others. That compassion for other people can often suggest lying to them appears like another of life’s significant paradoxes.

You can tell the truth tactfully to counter the justification of prosocial lying and keep your relations harmonious. Suppose someone you know is involved in damaging behaviour, for instance. In that case, expressing your feelings might be more helpful in the long run.

Moreover, if you hate people on your team at work but know there’s little chance of getting changed, it’s reasonably desirable to keep quiet. If an associate suddenly inquires you, “I’m your best friend, aren’t I?” Need not tell a lie to save the situation. Rather, avoid a reply that mocks the questioner’s true purpose: “Are you feeling rejected these days? Should we meet more frequently?”

To understand why someone lies, you have to examine what lying does for the person. Maybe people lie because they aren’t happy with themselves. Maybe they aspire to be seen as more impressive people; they aspire to be loved and require more friends.

It’s fascinating to think that the world would become a better place when purified of the falsehoods that appear to hinder our genuine relationships. On the other hand, our social lives would possibly fall under the weight of harsh honesty, with naked truths damaging our experience to connect with others. The omnipresence of lying is a problem, but would we require all of our lies to go away? Let’s be realistic.

An excellent summary of the research can be found in a piece published in New Scientist by Christa Lesté-Lasserre called “Dogs Will Ignore You if They Know You Are Lying, Unlike Young Children.